Snippets of Grief

 Yesterday was busy, but not as bad as I feared. I missed you, of course I did, and there was sadness, but there were also moments of beauty and joy. I know you're hanging out at H's place with Summer, by the way. She and M hear you walking on the floorboards. Thank you for helping Summer settle in her new home. Today I'm remembering those little moments, like when you bought my Apple TV just before Christmas last year, and I kept urging you to wait until the Boxing Day sales. And the fun we had doing the sales together. Did you see how cleaned out everything was even at 9am?? It was really bizarre. I just. Fuck, man. I miss you, you big asshat.

 Things have been so busy and chaotic, but not for a moment have I really lost sight of you not being here. I made ornaments for your kids, and I gave little gifts to your grandkids. Missy has lots of new Christmas outfits, and some new toys. The tree is up and in the loungeroom. The treats are (mostly) made and chilling in the fridge. I usually love Christmas, I would give it all up for the chance to have you back. PS, Support Service 1 is, of course, making life more difficult than it has to be. You would be furious.

 Christmas plans are well underway, but it still feels weird to be doing it all without you. Last night, F and I went into the city to see the Myer windows, and as I'm sure you saw, they were a disappointment. Still, it was a good night.

 80 days since I started these little notes to you. Most of the first little "oh man" moments are done now, I think. It'll be the big ones still, of course, but the silly things are probably done. I'm not sure why I feel the need to mention that, but there we go. We took Summer and Missy to see the Christmas lights last night. You would have been so proud of them both. Not only did they not try to eat (m)any of the people walking past, but they were both * in the back seat *! It was different, driving to see them, instead of going on the bus, but I still missed you.

 Notes from yesterday, because I was too tired to write to you. 1. You bastard! There are easier ways to get out of putting up the Christmas lights, you know. 2. Seriously, who's gonna buy me a birthday cake now? 3. You're supposed to be here to do all this stuff with, slimebiscuit.