Snippets of Grief

 Sometimes I want to shout that I hate you, just to see if it changes anything. (I don't hate you. I'm still not even mad at you, but I imagine that will come, in time.) I can't believe you are making me have feelings - that's just like you, ya bastard.

 Reminders and links to you that have made me cry today: birthday cake. My support service. Your dog. A Minecraft advent calendar. The advent calendar I wanted last year. Your dog again. Tonight was meant to have been our night away with the dogs, fungus-bucket.

 I miss your perspective, dumpster-hound. How am I meant to know what the next right thing is, when I don't have your thoughts to help me make sense of everything?