Snippets of Grief

 By the way, jerkbox, your dog has cost me around $300 this fortnight. Most of that was food and worming, of course, but she did eat yet another harness. Mmm, tastytasty.

 You were supposed to be the first offline person who stayed, you absolute branch-kicker.

 I still need you, poop-garden. I took Missy to our vet to get her groomed today - they turned us away. If you hadn't left, you would have shaved her while we wait to get in at PetBarn, but no, you checked out. Why you and not me? I don't understand, shrimp-writhel.